Click It

After my relationship of nearly two decades ended, I asked my father how he managed to find happiness again after my mother left him, back when I was a teen. “I clicked it, kid,” he said. “Then I just moved forward.”

“You clicked it?” I asked.

My father came of age in the 1950s and still carries himself like the Naval lieutenant he once was. He’s a man of the “big boys don’t cry era.” So, it wasn’t surprising when he explained in his typically terse manner, “You just decide to move ahead and not look back. You ‘click it’,” he repeated, as if this were an obvious solution.

Bad Advice Turns Good

“Click it” seemed to mean I should stuff my emotions and paste a happy smile over my broken heart. So, at first I wrote off my father’s advice. If I needed help balancing my budget or deciding when it was time to buy or sell a house, he was the man to turn to. But I scolded myself for thinking he could help me sort out matters of the heart.

But then, five years later, and after countless therapy sessions and even more hours spent crying on the shoulders of well-meaning friends–not to mention exhausting my ample supply of self-help books, I finally decided it was time to consider my father’s advice.

I had mourned enough. By now feeling had turned into wallowing. My emotions were no longer in motion. In short, I was stuck. Nothing else was helping so why not try to click it?

Marching Forth, Mindfully

Beginning on March 4th of that year, if someone asked about my love life, instead of telling a sorrowful story about my break up, I’d say, “I have a life filled with love from family and friends.” If I found myself longing for my past relationship, I’d think instead about future possibilities, or better yet, I’d bring myself into the present moment with a few mindful breaths.

Once I “clicked it” I focused on what I did have: a loving daughter, a close-knit extended family, a great job, and more. I even began to fall in love with the solitude of living by myself.

Part fake it till you make it, part breaking old habits of seeing the glass half empty, I discovered that click it, when the time is ripe, really could be healing, healthy, and helpful.

Ever since, I’ve declared March 4th to be “Click it Day.” Each year I choose another old grievance or tired story to retire on that day. If there’s something I find myself talking negatively about: My age, my appearance, my career, or the state of some relationship, I click it and replace the old toxic belief with a new way of being and thinking.

Ready to Click It? Start Here

• Feeling afraid–click into feeling brave instead. Adventures involve risk — and opportunity.
• They say you can only think one thought at a time … the choice is usually between a thought based in love or a thought based in fear. Click it: Choose the loving thought instead.
• Are you complaining about some aspect of your life? Click it: Think about three things you’re grateful for instead. Then resolve to change what you can and learn to accept what you can’t.

Tzivia’s March 4 Declaration for 2024

More about Tzivia and Third House Moon

I’m Tzivia Gover, an author and Certified Dreamwork Professional. Given my lifelong passion for dreams, it’s not surprising that the name of my business, Third House Moon, came to me in a dream. Visit www.thirdhousemoon.com to get the full story and information about my offerings including:

• Learn about 1:1 Sessions for Dreamwork or Writing
• Learn about Dreaming on the Page workshops and more
• Browse books by Tzivia