A gift in the night

I’d like to tell you a dream I had.

I know, you don’t like to hear about other people’s dreams. You think they’re long, and you have no idea what they mean, right? But I’m going to tell you this one anyway.

Because, it illustrates something that I believe will change how you view your time asleep.

First let me set the scene, I didn’t just have this dream. I requested it. I prayed before bed to have a blissful dream. That’s because, I wasn’t having a lot of bliss at the time. My long-term relationship had just ended, I’d lost my job, and my daughter was in her late teens, and testing her wings – and my patience. So, I asked for a dream that would show me that deep happiness was still possible.

The results, didn’t look promising at first.

I dreamed I entered my daughter’s bedroom. It looked just as it would in waking life: as if a bomb had gone off in it. As for me, I was lugging around a basket of dirty laundry. Again, not what I call bliss.

But then, I noticed a little spot of blue light glowing on the bureau in the far corner of the room. And as I looked at it, that color grew brighter, and more colors appeared: Greens, yellows, purples and golds—like the colors of a peacock’s tail.

Then, everything else dissolved in the dream: the messy room, the laundry basket, the bureau … and only those colors, and the feeling that they gave me, remained. It was as if I were experiencing their beauty from the inside out. I was floating on a wave of what might be called divine love, ecstasy … or bliss.

When I woke, I felt like I’d been given a gift; the knowledge that even while it seemed like I had fallen into a pit of despair, I had within me a wellspring of great joy.

Taking the dream off the pillow

If I’d simply “had” the dream, and not reflected on it, or changed my behavior as a result, it would have been an amazing—but isolated—experience. And it wouldn’t have changed me or improved my life.

Instead, because I practice paying attention to the messages in my dreams, I trusted that each part of that dream had significance.

So, when I woke I wondered why my bliss dream took place not on some white sand beach as I might have expected, but in the farthest, darkest corner of the messiest, most chaotic room in my home (my daughter’s bedroom). I had to stop and consider.

I mentioned earlier that my daughter had been acting out. But that was an understatement. She was pushing me away—hard—with her angry outbursts and rebellious behavior.

For my part, I was starting to wall myself off from the hurt of that rejection, and thus I was contributing to the problem.

The (rocky) road to bliss

The dream showed me that to find bliss I should explore the difficult territory of my life. Rather than give in to my urge to accept the distance that was growing between myself and my daughter, I had to take a step in her direction, risk even more hurt, and be vulnerable in order to be the mother I wanted—and and she needed me—to be.

It took some effort, persistence, and hard work on both of our parts, but over time my daughter and I grew closer. And the young woman she has grown up to become, and our relationship together, are among my proudest accomplishments.

Having learned this lesson in such a memorable way, I’ve been able to help others use their dreams to guide them through their dark and difficult passages, too.

A joyful reminder

I still marvel at that bliss dream. Not only did it help me in the days after I had it, but it has served as a touchstone for me when life feels like a struggle. It reminds me, and it can remind you, that experiences like this are available to everyone. We can all make nighttime and dreams, a staging ground for self-growth, inner healing, and soulful evolution.

And if we pay attention and heed their call, our dreams can lead us to lives rich in connection, purpose, meaning and joy.

Three steps to more blissful dreams:

1. Invite joy: Use meditation or gratitude practices (such as making a gratitude list in your journal) before bed to clear and calm your mind and create conditions for having sweet dreams.
2. Ask for it: Request a dream on a particular topic, and write your dreams down in the morning.
3. Take action: Whether your dream is clearly blissful, or whether your dreams instead show you your blocks to experiencing more joy, take an action step during the day to bring yourself into more harmony and help you move closer to joy.

Copyright 2018 Tzivia Gover

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This post is excerpted and adapted from my talks, “The Mindful Way to Sleep and Dreams,” and “Joyful Dreams” (presented at various conferences and events including the TEDx Berkshires Conference at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, on July 31, 2017, the 92nd St. Y in NYC, and the Chappaqua, NY, Library in 2018.

Buy the Book

My book The Mindful Approach to a Good Night’s Sleep is chock full of information and exercises to support you in sleeping and dreaming better. Order yours now and give yourself the gift of a good night of sleep & dreams!

For more posts about joyful dreaming and waking up well, read these posts:

Joyful Dreaming

Waking to Simple Pleasures

https://thirdhousemoon.com/waking-simple-pleasures-cv/