Mother Daughter Dreaming
After dementia, a conversation begins
A few years ago, while clearing out my mother’s closets in anticipation of moving her to an Alzheimer’s unit in an assisted living facility, I found some of her diaries. Sitting amongst the pile of spiral notebooks, yellow legal pads, and hard-backed journals in which she’d written, I quickly noticed how often she recorded dreams, often more than one each day, in vivid detail.
I wondered how it was possible that in our countless hours of conversations, over meals and cups of herbal tea, while taking long walks through city parks and to museums, movies and more, she had never told me she was such a prolific dreamer? And how sad it was that now that I knew, it was too late for us to discuss this gift that we shared in common.
Then again, I never used to tell most people that I remember several dreams each morning. I just assumed that everybody did. But when I finally had the opportunity to delve into my lifelong fascination with dreams, I learned that although everybody dreams several times each night, most people remember only one or two a week. Clearly my mother and I were outliers in that regard.
As it happens, it was right around the time that I began to study dreams in earnest, that my mother began to slip into her own dream of dementia, which in her case included aphasia, a language disorder that stripped her of coherent speech. So we hadn’t had the chance to compare notes about our dream lives—until now, when it was too late.
I packed her diaries into a carton and marched downstairs to where she sat slumped on the sofa. I looked directly into her milky eyes and asked, “Mom, when were you going to tell me that you are a dreamer, too?”
She gave me a mute grin, which could have meant anything. She lived far beyond the bounds of language now. Nonetheless, I continued–picking up her hand, and softening my voice. “I understand that we can’t talk the way we used to, but you can come and visit in my dreams, and we can talk there,” I said.
Call it what you like: The Power of Suggestion. Wish Fulfillment. Coincidence. The fact is that from that day forward, and even now, years after her death, she has done just that.
Copyright 2018 Tzivia Gover
Read on to learn what happened when Mom began to visit in my dreams, and for more mother-daughter dreams and synchronicities:
My brother James, who was fiercely devoted to my mother throughout the 10 years she coped with dementia and Alzheimer’s, walks each year to help stop Alzheimer’s Disease. Donate in honor of our mother, and for all of the people you know and love who have been affected by this disease.
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Get the ebook
Forgotten Dreams
Tapping into the Power of Sleep and Dreams for Caregivers of People with Dementia and Alzheimer’s
44 pages; Only $2.99
In Forgotten Dreams Tzivia shares her story along with easy to follow tips and techniques that will help caregivers:
- Sleep better and find moments of rest in stressful times
- Learn to recall and record dreams
- Discover how all dreams, even nightmares, can be tapped for help, health, and spiritual and emotional healing
Tzivia is passionate about using her research on sleep, dreams and mindfulness to help others reap the benefits she has experienced from living in harmony with her dreams. In her private practice as a Certified Dreamwork Professional, and as the Director of the Institute for Dream Studies, she has worked with hundreds of clients, many of whom have been caregivers themselves. The gifts she offers in Forgotten Dreams will help families and loved ones of those with Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia to sleep more soundly and use their nighttime dreams for support and guidance–so they can find meaning and even joy, even in deeply challenging times.
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The Perfect Companion
The Mindful Way to a Good Night’s Sleep is an ideal companion volume to Forgotten Dreams
Learn more about how to sleep and dream mindfully, and wake up well. OrderThe Mindful Way to a Good Night’s Sleep when you pre-order Forgotten Dreams.
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