“Nothing Matters”-The Voice of the Dream
One night, during a recent visit with my mother, who is suffering from age-related memory loss, I went to sleep feeling sad, small, angry and frightened over what is happening to her. This is the woman I have known all my life as a smart, cultured, loving and generous being. And now she has trouble remembering the names of her closest friends, how to calculate a tip, and what errand she left the apartment to run.
That night I dreamed that I was telling a friend that “Nothing matters.” There wasn’t much more to the dream than that.
I woke feeling oddly reassured, but also confused. Could the dream’s message be true? “Nothing matters,” sounded nihilistic and hopeless in the light of day.
I brought the dream snippet to Justina Lasley of the Institute for Dream Studies. “It’s just a little dream,” I explained, almost apologetically, before we began our dreamwork.
Justina led me in an exercise in which we engaged in a dialogue with the dream. Justina asked questions and I responded in the voice of, and from the perspective of, “Nothing Matters.”
Here is an edited transcription of that conversation between the Dreamer and the voice of Nothing Matters:
DIALOGUE WITH Nothing Matters
Where do you reside?
High in the clouds.
What are you?
I’m a lighter view.
What is your purpose?
To hold everything.
Why?
To help it make sense.
To whom?
Individuals.
Why do you care?
I love them. They are burdened.
Why?
Because they are attached to all that happens. They’re on a roller coaster with ups and downs.
How can you unburden them?
I remind them it doesn’t matter.
Why would people do anything if nothing matters?
They do things anyway. They have to do them more lightly, with less attachment.
Does it have to do with enjoyment rather than purpose?
The enjoyment should be higher.
How do people get to understand and not resist?
When things start coming apart—then they see it. When you see it from a high perspective, what looks like coming apart on the ground, looks like a pattern of flowing, unified movement. It‘s neither good, nor bad. It just is.
What is your worst enemy?
People being blind. Not seeing me.
What causes them to be blind?
They are so individual and separate. They cling and hang on.
What are they hanging onto?
Meaning. Their own self-importance. The ego.
What does matter?
Connection, the big picture. What they can’t see.
How can they understand it?
They need to trust it and feel it.
How would you teach that?
By bringing them up here with me so they can see for themselves. It’s a helpful view. A loving view. It would help them tolerate things. I’d tell them to think back and forward as far as they can. Play with perspective.
But I’m losing my mother. I feel devastated, angry. It feels like the end of the world!
Nothing is lost. You are always loved. You are part of everything and so is she. Just breathe, relax, and trust. I know it is hard to do that without a mother.
Where do I find my strength?
It’s inside.
I feel empty.
Close your eyes and let go. Little by little you will understand.
I need to come to your perspective.
I will find you in your dreams and bring you up here so you can see.
<3
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We share a mother
the very womb
a room
we both
inhabit-ed
And from our beds
we dream
our dreams…
and in one week
on the same day
post a post
on mothers.
xoxoxox
Hi Joey-san,
Somehow I’m not surprised that we’d have had a deep mother connection in our blogs (and hearts) this week!
Sending sisterly love 🙂
xo
Thank you for sharing, Tzivia. My dad is also suffering from memory loss and the last year has been quite challenging for both of us. Your dialogue has comforted me. Thank you.
I’m so glad the dream dialogue was comforting for you, Jennifer. I decided to share it on the blog even though in one way it was so personal — on the other hand I sensed that the message was not for me alone but for all of us! So thank you so much for your comment, which confirmed my feeling!
Hey Tziv,
WOW! that was so nice, I have to say I feel what U feel though maybe not in dreams but she is still there and still our mother we just have to handle her differently, the dream perspective was really cool, or the dream dialogue, I liked much, its tough 4 me as well as is for most of her friends and our family. We have to stay strong as hard as it might get sometimes esp. when we R with Mom I am always here 4 U and U4 me bye!!
Thank you for the kind and sincere words, Jim! I’m lucky to have such a loving brother! xo
I recognize this dialogue – have had many like that with my Higher Self through dreams.
Our young son is struggling with the concept of loss. I always tell him that we are all energy, and energy never disappears. It just transforms.
Your son is lucky to have someone like you from whom to recieve such wise perspective!
I hope you find the strength inside. Your mom will always be your mom, even when going through the identity/personality/physical etc changes that living a life entails. And some of those changes are hard to make sense of. Hugs, Tzivia.
Thank you!
beautiful picture, tzivia!
amazing conversation. very comforting, i gather.
oi, time can be so relentless. taking a different perspective iindeed, is the thing. it’s surprising, and in many ways helping. wishing you all, sisters and bro’, courage though!
n♥
Yes, it was comforting! Thank you for your good wishes!
I have thought of your slogan “nothing matters” on and off since your post,
and wonder about reading it as matter too doesn’t matter,
so all is left as spirit…then “nothing” matters, i.e. the absence of all the ‘things’ matters, and your dream could be pointing to that…and that you can never lose a person, because their spirit is always there…hhmmmm, maybe its one to chat over our next phone call!!
xo sweet dreams,
Reblogged this on All the Snooze That's Fit to Print and commented:
Ah, the small things … This week we’re looking at all the little things . In dreams that means not discounting the snippets and fragments. Sometimes big wisdom comes in little packages!